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  1. cucumber and bananas (SEX WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, 2010)
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18 More of the World's Most Disturbing Sex Toys gum.datingnpop.gdn I mastrbate with cucumbers and bananas but sometimes i forget to wash it. Cucumbers and bananas, eh? I'm a teen and I'm closeted gay I masturbated while thrusting an oiled banana in my arse.

cucumber and bananas (SEX WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, 2010)

Afterwards there was some blood present, and I'm very sore. I rinsed it before using it. Am I at any risk for sti's or HIV? I'm very scared because of the blood Just how far in the closet are you, Closeted-Guy???

Sep 3, Messages: One sexy night I was blindfolded and hands tied. He had fun looking sexual the room to find things to play with, my favoritethat really got me off, i found out later to be my souvenir bat from the Dodgers. I was taken aback at first, then i thought heyit got me off!!. Nov 6, Messages: Well, Forum about fainted when I saw the Maglight because it too was insertion of my "insertions" that was weird quite pleasant. Nov 2, Messages: LOL I haven't really put weird things inside me. My vagina is my temple so I treat it with respect.

  • Weird sexual insertion forum Search results
  • Jul 18, - As Redditor Easilyremembered
Jan 6, - My husband has recently started to insert his finger in my back passage when we have sex. I can usually stand it for about 30 seconds then  Missing: weird ‎| ‎Must include: ‎weird. Jan 31, - Kinda funny, I guess, until she starts making wookiee noises. .. story and racking my brain for a pretty weird sexual experience and I think that  Missing: insertion ‎| ‎Must include: ‎insertion.

Do you really think "someone with bad intent" would pick that particular vegetable to "inject body fluid and blood???? Of all the penis-shaped objects at your local Piggly Wiggly, how would Mr. Bad Intent guess you would pick that particular one for your "sit and spin? You're worried about contracting HIV from masturbating with a banana and cucumber???? Sweetie, do you think perhaps your cutie-petutie banana and cucumber are cheating on you????

I can only assume your home schooling or abstinence-only sex education program failed to mention that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease.

As such, it, like all other sexually transmitted infections, is, as the name implies, transmitted during sex from one infected person to another. So whatever you like to do in the fresh produce aisle of your local Piggly Wiggly will not cause HIV.

That is unless you happen to have unprotected sex with an HIV-positive checkout boy in that aisle with all the phallic fruits and vegetables.

If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional. Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice. Facebook , Twitter , RSS. All Rights Reserved TheBody: TheBody is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services.

The information provided through TheBody should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, consult your health care provider. Ask the Experts About. Frascino Hi, Cucumbers and bananas, eh? Frascino Hello, It is perfectly safe to have fun with fruits and vegetables, so long as you're not spunking up the produce in the aisles of your local Piggly Wiggly.

Bob Masturbating with banana - HIV? Frascino Hi, Replacing a real banana with one's own banana can indeed be "appealing" so to speak.

Bob Cucumber Aug 14, Used a cucumber bought at grocery store as an anal toy. Thankyou Response from Dr.

Weird sexual insertion forum May 18, - We previously chronicled how in the Internet age, the whole sex toy . they needed from the sex toy industry, in The 6 Strangest Objects People. Jan 28, - The sexual practice known as fisting, which involves inserting a whole hand It looked so bizarre to see a human hand buried deep inside of someone else's body. I inserted my fingers, and then at the knuckles, I paused.
Frascino Hello, You marinated a cucumber for an hour in strong bleach and then washed it four times before sticking it up your butt, and you are worried about HIV???? Bob Cucumber No Watermelons Aug 17, Your response was funny and when i thought about it, it was silly to marinate for 1 hour.

Frascino Hi, Do you really think "someone with bad intent" would pick that particular vegetable to "inject body fluid and blood???? I'm paralyzed with fear! Should I continue PEP? Stop Googling and Go Get Tested. How Risky Is It? Safer Sex Guides and Information. Medication and Health Reminders. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. We previously chronicled how in the Internet age, the whole sex toy thing has gotten completely, terrifyingly out of hand. Well, there's a whole new generation of devices that will get your blood pumping for all the wrong reasons. So have your nightmares welcome their new guests As with all of the devices on this list, we'll leave it to your imagination as to what the thing looks like in use.

Ah, from medieval weapon to medieval torture device. If you're into that sort of thing, or if you're conducting your own inquisition, then this tiny Iron Maiden for a schlong may be right up your alley. For those of us who prefer not to have metal spikes jammed in our units, it probably keeps a mean grip on hot dogs when you're cooking over an open fire.

It's a sign of our throwaway society that people can't even be bothered to use reusable canned vaginas anymore, but the convenience of a Pepsi sized tube of greased up, squishy polymers just can't be beat. We're guessing on every corner in Japan they've got these in vending machines. Two things that any good sex toy should have are the ability to both scratch those super hard-to-reach places and the ability to warp the mind of a child should they ever stumble upon it by accident.

This nightmarishly well-endowed bear accomplishes both rather nicely.

Weird sexual insertion forum We wonder if they ever made a tie-in cartoon starring this little guy. It's a little known fact that not all sex dolls are made for personal enjoyment. Some, like this sagging septuagenarian doll, are just made to haunt the recesses of your psyche for all time. And force you to buy denture cleaner. It's pretty much a given that intimacy can't be achieved very well without making use of the sense of touch.

On the other hand, you'd figure it's a given that you shouldn't be trying to get intimate while wearing a poor man's Freddy Krueger hand accessory on each finger, but not everyone rolls the same way.

So cram these on your fingers and get the Emergency Room on speed dial. It's sad that looking at a selection of dildos modeled after animals and mythical beasts is barely shocking in this day and age.

But, thankfully, we have innovative devices like the Drippy Dragon to keep us on our toes. This dildo, modeled somehow after a dragon wang, actually shoots jets of spooge for all those situations in which you need something like that to happen.

So you're in a bit of a pickle. That special someone is coming over but you're afraid your sex life is getting boring. What's the best way to combine as many godawful fetishes into one place, preferably a pair of pants, as quickly and efficiently as possible? You know how mattresses have that tag on them warning you not to remove it, and it's hard to figure out what could be so bad if you removed the tag, but almost nobody ever removes it anyway, just because something awful might happen?

If someone wrote on that tag that you should never stick an electrified metal rod in your wang, this product might never have been invented.

One of the worst things that can happen to anyone's sex life is the day you wake up and realize your sexuality in no way reflects anything you've witnessed in the Hellraiser series of films. It doesn't have to be that way though. Thanks, Extreme Ass Spreader!

OK, we have to interject here. Why in the hell would you possibly need to stretch your anus four inches wide? Ah, again we learn why you don't ask the Internet a question you don't want to know the answer to. The thing is, every kind of sex has disadvantages, where you can't reach certain things or perform certain actions, or one partner gets left out of the pleasure.

This product seems to perfectly combine all of those downsides into one device. To the point that they need them to vibrate way, way more than even the most powerful internal motor can drive it?

To the point that in order to feel anything, you need an industrial power tool spinning your marital aid at several hundred RPMs and creating enough friction to spark spontaneous vaginal combustion in the process? This actually looks like a fairly standard piece of high-quality plumbing equipment you'd find at the hardware store, until you look closely at the largest black attachment.

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