How To Love YourselfHe was 28 years old.
I drag myself out of bed and look in the mirror. I look exactly how I feel. Suddenly, almost like it does in the movies, it hits me That moment was the first time I realized that I had a relationship to myself.
It inspired three years of study during which I read countless books and articles, experimented with dozens of ideas, worked with professionals, and eventually repaired the broken relationship I had to myself.
Here is what I learned about how to love yourself. I hope it is of service to you….
- Self love how to love yourself Jump to Exercising Self-Love
- Self-love is a popular term today
Just learn to appreciate yourself. Not Helpful 30 Helpful We are all weird in one way or another and there is nothing wrong with that. The people who say that we're weird are just applying their standards to us. There will always be different people, but there will also be people who are just like you and think that you are completely normal.
Loving yourself is really f***ing hard: here’s how to do itYou just have to find those people.
Other people are trying to make you conform to their ways. Not Helpful 33 Helpful Sometimes I feel bad because I've hurt others by mistake. How do I get past these feelings?
The fact that you realize you've hurt people shows that you have empathy and an ability to acknowledge your wrongdoing, and that's a good thing.
The guilt and sadness you are likely feeling probably stem from not having done anything to remedy what you've done to hurt these people. Good self esteem is like a superpower. Loving yourself is a radical act, but life is sooo much easier if you do. Incremental changes are usually the most sustainable and a love for self makes a great bedrock foundation so taking it bit by bit is the approach I recommend. Learn to accept compliments. This is often the hardest step for people. You can start with a very quiet thank you, or a smile of acknowledgement if you really have trouble saying thank you. Try and find nice, genuine kind things to say about other people too and watch how they respond. To fix your feelings, work out how you might apologize and make it up to these people, remembering that they may need to see action more than words to believe that you've changed. However, at least doing this will set you on the right pathway, you'll have the tools to stop hurting people in this way, and your bad feelings will be replaced with constructive ones.
Not Helpful 25 Helpful Usually I hate myself so much.
Self love how to love yourself If you do not know how to love yourself consistently each day, here are some powerful I think of myself as a stepping stone on a pathway of self-discovery.3 Powerful Habits for Building · Self-Esteem · Forgiveness. Can you honestly say that you love yourself? Are you having a hard time being happy with yourself? It is so easy to focus on your faults and everyone can dwell.I hate how I look and everything about me. How can I feel better? Sadly we live in times where we are given many messages suggesting we're only as good as others' appraisal of us, especially our appearance and our outward display of perfection.
The answer is to realize this and to also give up comparing yourself to others. Remember that you are loved by family and friends and that you are a precious miracle of existence. Spend some time reading about improving your sense of self worth, learning about assertiveness and discovering how to make the most of your talents. In this way, you can stop feeling a sense of loss and disappointment about not measuring up to unrealistic expectations and can get on with appreciating yourself, your talents and your life, to the fullest.
I keep thinking badly about myself and putting myself down. How do I stop? Teach yourself to let go of negativity and fill your mind with positive thoughts. Start by slowly changing the quality of your thoughts.
Read books and articles on how to improve your quality of life. Not Helpful 22 Helpful How do I love myself despite not being loved by anyone around me, having no friends or loving family? Tell yourself daily that you are enough, strong and beautiful. People will soon love you if they see that you are loving yourself but you don't need people's validation, just their respect and kindness. The more you reach out, the more others will respond and some people may even become friends.
16 Simple Ways to Love Yourself AgainSelf love how to love yourself Not Helpful 31 Helpful What do I do if everything is going great, but I suddenly start to feel very worthless again?
I understand what you mean. Something I do every day is recall all the things I've done in the past that made me believe everything was going great. These memories give me a boost. So then I think "If I did all those things then and felt great, what's stopping me from doing them now? No one's worth can be determined. No one has the right to judge you. It's you who determines what you amount to. So try and stay positive as often as you can.
Don't ever put yourself down. If you do make a mistake, laugh it off. I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a beautiful person and I hope this helps. Not Helpful 19 Helpful What if my mother was horrible and I am just like her? Man, I hate myself. You can always work on changing the traits you don't like and improving yourself.
Focus on specific problems and set specific goals and methods for improvement, instead of generalizing yourself as 'bad'. You can find resources on improving various aspects of yourself on here, on other sites, and in books.
If you really need help, consider seeing a therapist. If you live in the US, you can find one near you using therapists. Not Helpful 4 Helpful How do I ask my parents to take me to a therapist? Answer this question Flag as Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. How to Love Yourself. Did this video help you? Did this summary help you? Tips Remind yourself that you are worth loving.
Many people tend to get insecure about themselves, when in reality we are all human beings! Always believe in yourself, and be the confident , optimistic you.
Avoid things that encourage stereotypical ideas, such as beauty magazines. Be yourself and stop caring about what others think. Be the best version of yourself that you can be. Being yourself isn't bad. We all want to achieve the best person we can be. Just remember that if you're trying to be like someone else, or your method to feeling positive feels fake even after a long time of trying, then it's not YOU that you are loving.
Accept yourself, identify the parts of yourself that you haven't yet. Try new things and conquer your fears. You'd be surprised at what you find! Ignore bad vibes from people. If someone does something bad to you don't hold grudges or take it personally before analyzing the situation. Remember that everyone is dealing with different things in their lives.
You should keep your mind calm and forgive because you're the one that will be the happiest in the end. Everyone has negative traits. If you've tried everything and they still won't go away, learn to love those things about yourself.
Do not let people let you down and distract you from your goal, human beings can differ from each other some have more cons than pros Write a list of pros and cons about yourself. Look at all of the pros. Now look at the cons and tell yourself how you can change them into pros! After you have learned to better love yourself you may feel compelled to help others love themselves as well.
Then my friends said another friend of mine hated me. It was rainy, so it just made everything worse. I got home and wanted to read something, so I went to wikiHow and browsed. I came across this article and read it. It made me rethink my whole day as just a little bump in the road. This really helped, wikiHow, you guys should be proud. P Precious Jul It has really helped me a lot. I can now say I have learn to love my self without fear.
Thank you very much! I tend to be a bit too serious and hard on myself at times. A good place to start today is to lighten up, have fun and spend more time with the people who have a great sense of humor.
Laughter is the best medicine. I really find your articles useful and and always look forward to them dropping into my inbox. I too have shared this on my FB business page and sent the article to some of my clients who I know will resonate with the message.
Your posts are always well written and thought out, but this one was phenomenal! I actually got a stack of index cards and took notes. So many of us have this false sense of being in the world, to satisfy our parents and society, but it does not make us happy.
Making everyone else happy and not self, kills the spirit. For me number 6 and 12 are the focal points. I know the changes I need to make, but I am letting my own schedule get in the way.
There is time enough, but I over book the week and literal recover on the weekends. As for 12, all things are NOT possible if you do not get off your duff and proactively engage.
All things then become possible, and when you engage things become probable…which is much better than possible. Too often we spend time trying to be everything to everyone… and everyone else beside ourselves. I am just figuring out who I am after years of being afraid to embrace myself and to love myself, faults and all. Thanks for this post. If you cant live WITH yourself.. Then how can you expect someone else to live with you…I believe that you are best to others when you are first and foremost at best living WITH yourself..
I love your writings. I only wish I had the strength to love myself and have confidence. Even my teenage children see me so sad and self pitying.
And to look at me from the outside…. Yesterday only I was thinking of how to love yourself articles and today morning it was there in my mail box from you. Thanks a lot for such a great article. But the only thing is my mind is not stable yet. A not changing…every time m trying but m failing it has been more then 5 years m thinking of improving things in me….
Such a powerful article with such great principles for self-love and living authentically. Thanks for the post. Loving yourself and accepting who you are is actually accepting the world you live in. It goes together and can not be divided. Once more thank you, you made my day and all the other coming days…. Thank you so much for sharing those self-love strategies. Certainly gives me something new to consider.
I think the exercise at the bottom of this post may help you: Thank you, as always. As usual your article spoke volumes to my heart. I keep taking notes, wish i could remember it all. And I love what the person BlackDiamond wrote, it made me feel competent about myself and that Father would always be there to help me no matter what.
Thank you for this article , Marc! At present I am stuck in my ethnic community in Australia, and have been throughout my teenage years and youth. So, this has had an enormous negative impact on my life in the past 20 years. I feel imprisoned, in a vicious cycle: I am being isolated like a leper, and yet they want me around, as a measuring stick, so that they feel better about their pathetic lives!
Why is so hard to forgive myself for the guys I dated, who never took their time to know me? Discovering, clarifying, and living my truth is an inspirational practice that helps keep me focused on my gifts, talents, and potential. Living in the present is also important!
I have to agree, I suffer with self doubt also. I would have to say 8 is what I would have to work on the most. I feel everybody has things about themselves that they have to confront at some point but never do and stay stuck.
Thanks for writing this!! Thank you for the book recommendations as well. These steps have really helped me but this sticks out the most. I often find myself comparing myself to others and wishing and wondering when will i do as good as them but in reality really who post on social networks the bad in life?! Whats life without failures. You have to fail in order to succeed so when i fail i will appreciate the failure instead of bashing myself i wont compare my situation to nobody else we all have our own lives with different purposes my failure isnt yours and your success isnt mine.
My theme for is self-love. Your article gives me a lot of ideas to work for this year. I love to do something every day that makes me happy and tip number one is very important, what we tell ourselves can make a huge difference to how we feel about ourselves.
Number 1 would be my biggest challenge. So I have decided to just aim for one thing that I can say I love about myself a day and see what grows from there. Number 15 is definitely one I think I should get tattooed somewhere very visible to remind myself. Amazingly enough, I feel like mosf of the others get a peek in every now and then, so I guess the next step is to make them more regular features in my daily life.
Thanks for a really timely article. I realize that by doing this delays the evolution of me…. Be gentle with yourself. This being a human stuff is hard. I just wanted to let you know that after I read this, my life had changed.
Honestly, it brought me to tears of joy to realize that there is someone there who understands, even if you are stranger my confusion, pain and doubt and turned it to ambition, self-respect and most of all hope.
I read this every time I feel close to being defeated and you somehow without even a sound have changed my life. From the bottom of my heart, this has made my night and probably my week. Thank you for letting me know, and thank you for reading. Keep fighting the good fight! This is an awesome article. I love the levels of self-love. I found that when I stopped trying so hard to change myself, my whole world changed. I think the real win revolves not around changing yourself, but accepting yourself.
Hi Jason Thank you so much for this incredible read. I went through a tough time with panic attacks and slight depression and my therapist made me realise that it all stems from the fact that I see myself as worthless and not good enough in all areas of life. Your article has made me realise that in order to feel good enough and worthy of others I need to learn to love myself first.
Your post though is thought provoking and I definitely intend to start meditation in order to focus on who I am and eventually love my physical and emotional self. Roxanne — so glad to hear the article resonated with you. Enjoy the meditation practice, and thanks for reading. Jason, Thank you so much for writing this. My sister in law died unexpectedly. He proceeded to beat me in front of my daughter. He then has physically and emotionally beat her since then. While with my daughter in toe, I found him dead in the shower.
I have now learned how to start loving myself so others can. Thank you for your candidness, honest and caring. You have given me hope. I cannot thank you enough. Reading about your story makes my heart flicker. Good luck on your path and I hope you find some peace and stability in sunny Florida. I actually spent a few years in school there. Sometimes you are stormy. Sometimes you are placid. Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom!
Roxana — so glad to hear the article resonated with you. And I feel ya: Pretty liberating to just let yourself be human. I wish I could have a conversation with you Jason. Lost in the ways of the wicked. Ask your friends if they know of any good therapists and book an appointment. If no one can give you a recommendation, ask your doctor. Life gets hard — crippling at times. Work with someone you trust to come back to yourself.
Totally broke down when you suggested writing the life story and keeping a picture nearby. I had such a strong emotional reaction.. My mum died when I was I got on with it though and here I am now 39 with two children and some repeating dysfunctional behaviours.
Just getting on with things making stupid unreasonable demands of myself has become the norm. Normal is going easy on myself, loving myself. I obsess about the perfect relationship and guess what.. I obsess about not being loved enough, not wanted enough so I constantly make plans, suggestions to make things better when its not needed.
My partner feels manipulated, criticised and I can see why. Gave me a massive one. That life changing event became my reality and the fact is. I can relax and still be ok. I need to accept that I have since created the hurdles in my life and I dont need to anymore. Thank you so much for your words and suggestions. I have a feeling theyre going to continue to have a positive impact on me. Fay — first of all, thanks for sharing your story.
I can only imagine how difficult it is to lose your mother at 13, and then feel the need to — in your words — get on with it. Keep in mind that if things ever get really tough, a mental health professional can often speed up your healing and happiness.
Good luck, and thank you for being here. Taking the courage you suggested I hope to find healing and to help others hurting too. Many many many people struggle with this stuff.
What a gift — both for yourself, and the world! This is an exceptional article which has really inspired me. Thank you for this article.
I am reading it in what is possibly the darkest time of my life, I have been struggling and was feeling so overwhelmed and guilty for feeling overwhelmed with my struggle. While it can be a challenging road, the rewards are well worth the journey many times over. More than that, I really feel like you have great things ahead of you. Also, nobody really talks about this, but building a healthy nurturing relaitonship with someone you love requires thought and effort.
They desperately want to love themselves and be confident but it seems so unachievable. First of all, please know that I really do believe that you can improve your relationship to yourself, even if it seems unachievable.
My strong strong recommendation: I wrote about my experience with therapy here , and explained how to find a great one here. Thanks for the quality content! I strive to provide ideas that are both coherent and actionable.
Thrilled to hear I hit the mark here. Thank you so much for this. I will constantly remind myself this every time I catch myself invalidating a struggle or pain.
Good luck, and thanks for reading. I am so incredibly happy that I found this! I could not stop reading it! I just started to really look within and be a happier version of me. I am going to take this whole article and bring it to life for myself. Thank you thank you.
This article is saving my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Jason. K — I cant tell you how glad I am to hear it. This is the most beautiful thing I have ever come across.
Everything was worded so perfectly and filled with so much insight. Like you said, it will be long and it will be difficult. Thank you for the article. I want to be touched to the point where I am moved to make extreme actions and changes in my life, but what do you do or say to a person that has taken the steps to get more sleep, exercise, confront their depression and acknowledge that they have no friends or really anyone that cares? My depression has caused every single person that was around me to turn it back on me as if I discuss them because there have been many days where I had to cancel plans because I simply could not get out of the bed.
Confused about what they actually need to do. What are some concrete action steps just to get started other than sleep exercise and eat right and talk to a professional? I apologize for not being one of your upbeat and inspiring readers but I am just so tired of being tired and lost and reading the same advice over and over again.
First of all, nothing is wrong with you. Like anything else, my work resonates with some people, and not with others. That must be tough.
To those ends I encourage you to keep searching for qualified licensed providers and being open to their suggestions. The sad part is that there are a lot of shitty therapists out there. Healing is always possible. Also, you asked for actionable advice: You wrote that passing out and getting up off of the floor drunk has been your life for the past few years. I would guess that would have a measurable impact on your depression. Hi Jason my name is Miguel Santana, I really need help with my inner child.
I need to please other people. I am so very clingy and I smother my wife constantly. She is tired of it. Miguel — I feel ya. PS if you need help finding a great therapist, I wrote an article about it here. From every article of yours that I read. I am going to work on it and I am excited for this journey. Thank you so much. Realize that the things that happened to you are not your fault.
Thanks for the wonderfully pit article full of great learnings and insights! Thanks, Kenza — so glad to hear the article was helpful for you.
Wishing you plenty of success and impact, too! It did wonders for me. I respect your email privacy. Three weeks ago my best friend moved away. We used to talk about getting married. I hope it is of service to you… The negativity bias, attentional filters, and other things that make loving yourself difficult Imagine that two articles about you have just been published.
The first step is realizing the truth about your importance… You are the singular most important person in your world. The four levels of self-love: Your path is yours and yours alone… What follows are guidelines for learning to love yourself. Let your strong emotions be your guides. This can be jogging, lifting, frisbee, yoga, team sports, whatever.
Meditation or silent reflection: My suggestion to you is that you experiment with a few different forms until you find one that resonates. I use the Five Minute Journal for this and love it. Hold space for your religion or spirituality: Eat a healthy, nutrient-dense diet: If so, slowly start removing them.
If not, play more! Shoot your coworker with a Nerf gun, play mini-golf with your friends, or take an improv class. Give yourself small treats throughout the day. Treat yourself to a soy latte.
Watch a few cat videos guilt free. Go for a walk. Level 2 — embrace your dark side When I was living in Montreal, I had a roommate who pretended that every day was amazing.
Your perfections are found through your imperfections. Stop expecting yourself to be perfect. Instead, revel in the imperfections that make you beautiful. You can even act on these feelings as long as you find a safe outlet to do so without harming yourself or others. I like to release rage from my system by throwing temper tantrums alone in my apartment. Bottling strong feelings is never a productive idea. Instead, see the truth of who you are. Spend time alone in silence. Most people fill their lives with white noise.
They use podcasts and music and TV and gossip and busyness and the internet and a million other things to avoid being completely alone in their own company. In reality, they are afraid of what they may find if they spent time alone and undistracted. In order to fully see yourself, you need to spend time in silence.
3 Powerful Ways to Love Yourself INSTANTLY (100% Self Love)
Self love how to love yourself It directly affects the quality of your relationships, your work, your free time, your faith, and your future. I grew up with nine siblings. The most important decision of your life, the one that will affect every other decision you make, is the commitment to love and accept yourself. I had two older brothers, three older sisters, three younger sisters, and a younger brother. I never fit in. You need to accept yourself. 4 Ways to Love Yourself - wikiHow