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i don t want a divorce but he does


  1. My Husband Wants a Divorce, How Do I Stop Him
  2. I Don't Want A Divorce
  3. My Spouse Wants a Divorce But I Don't

I Don't Want A Divorce. That's why you picked up this book.

My Husband Wants a Divorce, How Do I Stop Him

Your spouse isn't happy. Your marriage is not on the right track. Needs are not being met.

You never thought your marriage would get to this. You don't want a divorce. You want to feel in love again. And the sooner, the better. If you're in a marriage that needs to be saved, I have good news and more good news.

You and your spouse are part of a huge club with millions of members.

The conversation starts something like this: But, I want to save my marriage. I mean, what can I do. If you find yourself facing divorce when getting divorced is the last thing you want to do, you are not alone. They are not the ones who initiated the divorce. They are not the ones who left. Instead of wanting a divorce, they want to put their marriage back together. Did your spouse threaten divorce in the middle of a heated argument. The more difficult situation to assess is when your spouse gives you mixed messages. Meanwhile, you are riding a roller coaster of emotions. You are not exactly sure what is going on, or what you should do..

Precisely my situation. My husband has taken advantage of me from day one. We both want a divorce, but of course he doesn’t want it until it’s good for him.
  • I don t want a divorce but he does You might have all
  • Apr 13, - Maybe at this
But it has. You don't want a divorce. You want intimacy. You want passion. . He wants to stay with you and has no desire to divorce you, but will do nothing to. What to do when your husband wants divorce: Get Educated. husband "I don't want a divorce and I can't believe my husband wants to divorce me. I'll show.

Thank you for sharing! You are definitely not alone! I encourage you to lean on your family and friends right now as much as you need to do so. You, too, will get through this! Funny how the examples use men as the spouse pushing divorce….. And maybe even higher.

I Don't Want A Divorce

We are simply just different animals……loyalty is not a female strong point……… Cheating used to be a mans domain…..

People are way to quick to just quit. How do you just stop loving some one. I agree with you. Its ok to be angry. Actually, I think you have to be angry at some point. So the key is to allow yourself to be angry, work through your feelings, and then let your anger go.

Do you ever stop loving your spouse? Is it quitting to let someone go who is determined to leave? Those are tough questions. Ultimately, the only one who can answer them is the person asking, the person whose marriage is falling apart. I am going through a similar battle. I was unfaithful to my husband and I am desperately trying to work it out.

I don t want a divorce but he does By: Leslie Cane: I sometimes hear from women who are extremely confused and horribly hurt. Their husband has told them that he wants a divorce. The conversation starts something like this: “Hi, Karen. I’m, um, here because, well, um, because my husband wants a divorce. But, I want to save my marriage!
I have made such a mess. But I dont want him to think I am quitting on us.

I am not sure whether to give up or keep showing him how much I love and want him until the end. I am torn at this point. I wish I had a crystal ball and could tell you how things will go for you. But I do know that if your gut is screaming at you that something is going on, you would be well-advised to listen to it.

It is so unfortunate that your husband has involved your 24 year old in whatever is happening in your marriage. That only makes everything so much harder, and so much worse. My husband wants a divorce, go on, say the words, my husband wants a divorce. Coming to terms with reality will make you more inclined to save the marriage. It will take work but love is worth the effort. But this is not true, there are ways to reclaim your relationship just like it was before.

I don t want a divorce but he does Nothing has to change, just that you have to be patient and have to invest a lot of time and energy to do that. To make your husband give up the idea of divorce, the first thing you have to do is remember your goals. The goals here are: It also speaks volumes about your husband. You could ignore your gut and just go on with life as you are. This is not a good choice, and not likely to work anyway. But lots of people do it. You could try to gather proof that your suspicions are either right, or that they are wrong.

This is not a bad option. It may ultimately lead you to find out your right. If you have the money, you could hire a private investigator to find out whether something is going on. This may get you the proof you are looking for faster, but it will probably cost a lot, and it could backfire on you if your husband finds out about it. Also, if you find nothing, you will have wasted a lot of time, energy and money. You could admit that the fact that you are having these feelings means that something is wrong in your marriage.

You can then try to address that issue, and deal with your marital problems. This, in my humble opinion, is the only option that has a shot at actually solving your problem and making you happy in the long run. See if your husband will go with you to marriage counseling.

All you need to do is tell him that you are not happy and you want to go to a marriage counselor. If he is, awesome! If not, go to counseling yourself. You need to work through your own feelings, and deal with your own pain. Where will that lead you? But staying where you are at and doing nothing is not your best option. Ultimately, you will either start to believe you are crazy, or you will start to go crazy from the stress and the conflict. The bottom line for you is to get help.

Get to a therapist and get to the bottom of what is really going on. What do YOU want to do? But you can control yourself. So invest in yourself. Get a therapist, or join a support group, or talk to friends, or just take long walks alone in the forest so you can think.

But ask yourself what YOU want. You will know which way to go. Sorry this post is so lengthy, but it is an easy read I am in a rut!!! I tried talking to him, asking what I did wrong?? He said that he just fell out of love with me. I could go on and on of things he has said and done throughout this year, but I will try to put it in a nutshell. Basically, I am nothing but a whore and a maid to him!

I want out of this marriage!!!! Our debt to income is insane!!!! On paper, I make more than him. When I threaten a lawyer and going to court, he gets fired up and says that he will get alimony from me and says: I could rent our 8 car garage out and have a renter living above the garage too! Although, earlier this week, he said: Why are we not doing things as a couple and trying to fix this marriage? Clearly, you have a lot going on! Ok, the biggest thing I can tell you is to stop and take a big deep breath!

Right now you seem overwhelmed! But, to get back into a better place you need to take a look at your situation, step by step. Before I start into some suggestions, I have to tell you that this is NOT legal advice and I can not be your attorney! For legal advice you will need to talk to a lawyer in your state. These are simply practical, real world suggestions from someone who has been working in the divorce field for decades. Take the advice or leave it, as you see fit! Get a handle on your emotions.

If you are not seeing a therapist, coach or counselor, I would highly recommend it. Get a copy of all of your financial information so you can take a good hard look at your financial situation.

Find a good divorce lawyer in your area and get some legal advice about your options. If you are not happy with your current lawyer and it sounds like you are not then try to get your money back and hire a new lawyer. I would suggest that you use mediation rather than fighting in court, but mediation will only work if your husband agrees to participate in it and I mean really participate, not just have his body there while his head is somewhere else AND if your husband will be honest about his income.

Ask the lawyer what the law in your state says about maintenance and whether maintenance will be an issue in your case. First find out what a lawyer has to say about it, then you will know whether it is really an issue in your case or not. My marriage has been in trouble for many years.

I realized, though, that in any event, I made mistakes and had a lot of changes to make. This year, I tried my best to make him happy. I thought we were getting along better but he was still acting distant. The last few weeks I started to pressure him to tell me and show me how he feels. I told him how very sorry I am, that I would do anything to relive those years, I will do anything to make him happy.

He started sleeping in the basement. I said what can I do? He said angrily to give him time. I asked how much time. What should I do? How long should I wait? I feel like he was just waiting for some feeling to come over him, instead of meeting me halfway. I can tell how much you want your marriage to work. Let me start by answering the most important question: The answer is, of course you do! Does that mean I can guarantee that things will work out? I wish I did! Unless he was lying to you which is possible that means there is hope.

I am, however, a little bit confused by what you have written. You said that you are afraid by giving hime time, you will just grow further apart.

I know that is hard, and I know that is not what you want to hear. But pressuring him to stay married is just likely to backfire on you.

How do you know? Have you asked him? If not, then ask him. A good counselor could help your situation a lot. Those can be transformational. Not on the marriage. Actually, you should think about doing that even if you are going to marriage counseling. Get yourself into individual counseling if you can. Dive into some good self help books or go to some personal development seminars.

Re-connect with the things that make you feel happy. Will that save your marriage? You asked whether your husband needs to at least try to be loving, too. In a perfect world, yes, he should love you and you should love him, and you both should show it!

Here is the truth: You can only control yourself. That is why I suggested that you start working on yourself, and on making YOU happy. I am not saying to ignore him, or not to try to make your marriage work. But the man asked for time. Give it to him.

In the meantime, work on you. When you do that, you will start to change. And, here is the secret: You said it has been bad for a long time. It is not going to go from bad to good overnight. But, once you start showing up differently in your marriage, your husband may change his mind about wanting out. Wow your post was so enlightening to read. I am on the other end of this spectrum in so many ways. My husband and I have been married for 20 years, and now I finally want out. Has taken me years for the courage to come up to make this decision and to act on it.

Though for years I have been unhappily married to him. I tried for years to stick it out, for our kids. Till finally, one day I was unable. Though if I could do it again, there is one thing I would change.

I would of not stayed quiet, allowing countless indiscretions to occur, with nothing more than an evils stare, or tears, or drinking enough to forget, then hearing a morning apology. I am not a fighting person, it hurts so much to do what I feel is right. Other than he will never give up on wanting to be married to me. Let me tell you, that is absolutely the worst strategy he could use, or possibly pleading with me to stay married for the kids and him.

I am just so damn emotionally weak to be able to truly move forward. Good luck to everybody out there who is struggling in some way, just remember, nothing will stay the same forever. After reading your comment I felt compelled to jump in and say a few things. I was so motivated to respond, though, that I just had to start typing immediately, before I even had my morning coffee! So, if I ramble a bit, or I miss a typo, please excuse me. First of all, stop calling yourself emotionally weak!

You have been married for 20 years and it sounds like you have been unhappy a lot. You have gone to counseling. You have tried to make things work. Now you are done. You can look at your situation two ways: The fact that you have moved out for the second time means that you are struggling with your decision.

It means you take your marriage seriously and you have tried to make it work. Yes, you made mistakes. It makes you human. The fact that you can admit that shows incredibly maturity.

I have been working with divorcing people for decades. Not everyone does that. The only one who knows what is right for you is you. The only mistake you can make is not listening to your own inner wisdom and following your heart. Does that mean that, whatever you decide, it will be easy?

The important question is not: The important question is: Until they begin to ride their own horse, and you will know, they may seek everything through you. All of that is so damaging and toxic to the very core. It is great to have some good ramblings. Just a bit more to say. Not 24 hours ago he sent me an ALL telling email.

I which he explained how he lost all respect for me because I will not try any more to keep our family together.. Along with how I have turned into such a mean person. At that point I put his email on hold, had to vent the fact that he said that! He keeps on keeping on, has not allowed this marriage to close. Constantly is on the battle front, with not another fighting.

Tried to do mediation, one visit, does not want to continue with that. He would like him and I to just sit down, talk and figure on how to create a fair divorce settlement.

I am not a financial wiz, we own a handful of properties, and owe more than we own. We have a special needs daughter, whose medical care has sometimes been a source of conflict. I will expect alimony and child support. I will expect to share some of the gains made, which may not truly be in the positive for years.

How do you do this? This does all go on, right aside him freaking on me, at least in email form. Crazy conflict, which we avoid letting our kids see.

I just want to clean this up and finish baking the divorce cake. Must remember at least one semi positive note: What is positive is that you are trying to avoid exposing your kids to the conflict. Here is a link to an article I wrote about collaborative law. A More Effective Way to Divorce. No matter how you do it, though, it sounds like you have a complicated situation.

It would not be best to tackle that alone. You should consult with an attorney in your area to get the legal advice that you need in your case. As for how long this is all taking, take a deep breath! Divorce always takes longer and costs more than you think. That, in and of itself, will take time. The bottom line is that it seems like you are going in the right direction. I have to reply because word for word this is my husband who wants out.

He came to me three weeks ago and said he wants out. I know I was a horrible wife. And he just could not communicate to me how he felt. He moved some of his stuff today. I never realized how much I loved him and I told him I too would change. I told him I loved him and I always will. I told him to go and be happy. It breaks my heart but he deserves that much from me. She needs to go and grab her fistful of happiness. Nothing will come of waiting.

I can hear your pain through your words. I am so sorry that your husband has left and moved on. Sadly, love is not enough to hold together a marriage. I know that is what we were all taught when we were growing up, but there is a lot more to sustaining a marriage than just love.

I know how much you hurt right now. I have been in failed relationships myself. I know what it is like to still love someone who leaves. I know what it is like to cry all day and all night, day after day, night after night. If I could wave a magic wand and fast-forward you through time to a year from now so you could jump over this pain, I would. All you feel is pain. But after every storm, there is quiet. There is peace and a chance for a fresh start.

Sometimes there is even a rainbow. My husband recently told me he is unhappy in our marriage, said that he wanted a divorce and left — he is currently living in a rental house that is owned by one of his co-workers.

This has come completely out of the blue — we have been married for 9 years and have had our share of arguments, but no more than any other married couple.

I have asked him if there is someone else, and he says no. I feel completely blind sided — I am completely devastated and do not want this. He is not willing to try counseling or try to work on rebuilding our marriage. We own a home and have an 8 year old daughter. I have been begging him to give us another chance and he refuses. I am so sorry to hear this! I can feel your pain through your words. I wish there was more I could do to take that pain away. You asked if there was hope. It takes 2 people to make a marriage and, if he refuses to be one of them, you are not going to have a marriage left.

I am a big fan of counseling. It really helps you get a handle on your feelings, especially in hard times. You may also want to join a divorce support group where you can connect with others who are in a similar situation. Yes, I understand that you may not be ready to even think about divorce right now. Just know that there is support available if you do go down that road.

For now, try to focus on yourself, and on your daughter. If her father has moved out, she is probably feeling a huge loss too. Above all, make sure she is ok. I am writing this because I have noticed all the help you have provided to the others on here. I was just curious as if that is possible with me as well. First off, let me say — My wife told me earlier this month, that she wanted a divorce.

I have to admit to you that, I have been a Jerk in this marriage especially the past 3 or so years and that I do deserve what is happening to me.

I have never physically abused her in any way, but I have abused her emotionally which we all know is actually worse than physical abuse most of the time. I was a JERK!!! I literally broke down and prayed to GOD and dedicated my life and marriage to him.

I said, all I want to do is have a conversation with you. We have three children — 2 boys ages 7 and 10 and a 1 girl aged The two boys are together, and the daughter was before we was together she loved the person, but not enough to marry them situation. I was a lousy husband and not so great father! It is just a shame that it has taken our marriage to get to this point for me to straighten up, and now that I am sincere about it, I feel it is too late!

How do I tell my wife that I am sorry for being a jerk in our marriage and show her that it is sincere and not just some manipulation scheme. First off, did you tell her what you just told me? I have to tell you, what you just wrote in this comment touched my heart.

Now, I admit, I am not the one who has lived through all of the years of your being as you said a lousy husband and a not so great father. And, quite honestly, my opinion in your situation is not the opinion that counts. But, if you opened your heart and honestly told your wife what you just told me, I think that would be a great first step toward getting your marriage back on track.

It may not change everything or anything over night. But it would be a great start. I hope you can do that. I hope its not too late. But, only time will tell. Time, by the way, is the answer to your problem. Telling her how sorry you are and telling her you love her, and telling her you will change are all a great first step … but they are only a FIRST step.

After that you have to follow through. You have to actually change. From the inside out. Then you have to SHOW her you have changed! After that, you have to keep showing her, and keep showing her, and keep showing her. In time, if your wife sees that your change is REAL and not just words, she may start to believe you. Little by little, if you have really changed and keep showing her you changed, the ice around her heart may start to melt.

If and when that happens, you can start to rebuild your marriage — better, and stronger than it was before. But until that happens, you can not push her. You just have to be the best husband, father, and human being you can be and see what happens. What you need to get your head around is that, even if you do change, it might still be too late.

She said she wants a divorce, so maybe you have. But, have you crossed it yet? If you really want to save your marriage, you have to work on being a better husband and father … and genuinely mean it!

Your change may bring about a change in your marriage. So any improvement you can make in your parenting will positively affect your relationship with your kids forever. That, in and of itself, will be a great thing. Yes, I have told her multiple times that I am sorry and that I am in the process of changing my life.

I love my family very much and I do NOT want to lose them. At this point in time however, it is too late, she has already started with the divorce papers Divorce fIle or whatever — Online. I have no other choice then to do as she wishes, she is not budging from her decision in anyway.

She thinks this will actually be a good thing for me as in to being a better father to our children. OK, I agree to that…. She is wanting me out of the house at the end of October and she has gone as far as to say she would help me with finding a place and pay the first months rent and security deposit and all, but she wants me out.

I want so bad to be able to repair this, but at this particular moment in our lives it is not fixable. She said she would go as to help with the pain of what are children will be going through. But I am just finding it so hard to cope and deal with this on a day to day basis.

The more I try to show my wife that I am changing it just seems to push her that much farther away. I guess the only thing left for me to do is going on and trying to be the best father to our children that I possibly can and keep trying to show her that I am changing. Maybe one day in the future she will see it and perhaps we can pick things up where we left off, but it a completely different environment then when we left.

I hear what you are saying and I am so sorry that you have to go through this! It sounds like your wife has passed the point of no return and is not willing to look back. You are wise for recognizing that there is nothing you can do right now to change her mind. There is no switch you can flip that will turn back time.

As painful as this time is for you, please do not think about taking your life! Ending your life to avoid dealing with your problems now will prevent you from doing whatever it is that you were put here to do. Regardless of what your belief system is, that can not be a good thing. It will also hurt your children more than you can ever imagine. It sounds like those thoughts have passed but, please, if they have not, get help immediately!

This is not a solution to your problems, nor will it necessarily end your pain who knows what lies beyond, right? No one wants to be alone. No one wants to lose their family. But what you need to understand is that what you are facing will change you and your family. But you have no idea what the future holds. You may end up being, as you say, a better father. When you do, my guess is that you will also learn from what you have been through and you will treat your new relationship differently.

Life has a way of working out in ways we never imagined. I need to continue my rambling rant. My husband is also battling addiction, ups and downs for 20 years. It sure does not set the foundation for a stable marriage.

For him maybe, as I have been the enabler, but for me not. I always am fighting my guilt for leaving, separated almost 3 months. He is always pleading, or praying for my return. Feel like it has been over for years, but once again the pain of the guilt returns. If I was wealthy it may be an easy decision, at least in part.

Kids are involved too, they are hurt. He will not give up, only apologies for all the pain he has caused, or speaks to hurt me and criticize me for leaving and breaking up the family. Crying, deep pain, fear, darkness of the unknown. Meeting with new found freshness and joy for the future. Excitement for the unknown, Looking forward to a more peaceful time. Should the fact that he has addiction issues be reason for me to stay and continue the help.

I sure could keep on trying to help him, but do so with different rules and boundaries. I am exhausted though, want to be done, although right now am feeling I should not.

Tomorrow will be different, I will continue to fight this battle that I pray will end some day and I pray even more that my children will not be damaged more so due to my decision to leave. What a battle we fight in the face of broken dreams and shattered love. Almost every song for decades is on this topic, love gone bad. Your hormone-driven passion peters out eighteen months after the wedding day. Your male-female differences, annoying habits, and ever-increasing conflicts put a pounding on your love.

Add a child or two and now you're really in for it. You spend less and less time together. You don't talk on a deep level. You can't remember the last personal conversation you had. Romance and affection are way down. Sex is infrequent and not too exciting. You fight more and more and can't resolve disagreements.

Or worse, you avoid conflicts by avoiding each other and touchy subjects. This progressive breakdown in a marriage happens to Including my wife, Sandy, and me. If you are in that. You are the extraordinary exception. If your marriage is good, and you want to make it better, this book isn't for you. Give it to a couple who needs it. If your marriage is currently bad and you want to make it better, a lot better, this book is for you. The two questions to be answered are: The answer to the first question is: Almost all troubled marriages fall into one of three categories.

And, you both are willing to take steps to improve your relationship. Marriages in this category, unhappy but no outrageous and deeply harmful behavior, tend to come in four types. See if you recognize yours. You're comfortable with each other. You feel stable and secure. What you don't feel is passion. Oh, you still love each other. But the thrill is gone. Your marriage is based on commitment and routine, not intimacy. You're not sweethearts anymore. Your sex is still fairly frequent, but it is a five on a scale of one to ten.

You work at your careers. You take care of the kids. You do household chores. You pay the bills. You visit your families. Even though you're not terribly unhappy, you still have a bad marriage. It is far less than what it could be, and you know it. You are settling for a Go-Kart when you can have a Corvette. Being okay with an okay marriage is not okay.

If you don't change your marriage pretty quickly, it will get worse. And it won't take a long time. No one has made a move toward divorce. In fact, no one has mentioned divorce. But you're both unhappy. Your feelings of love are greatly diminished. There are more negatives than positives in the relationship. You are often irritated by your spouse's annoying habits and weaknesses. You are having more and more conflicts, usually over petty issues.

You don't have deep, intimate, revealing conversations. You rarely go out on romantic dates. You're not playful with each other. Your kisses are stale, forced, and pathetically weak. Sex still happens sporadically, but it is more about meeting a biological need than about expressing love. You're beginning to lead separate lives. You are avoiding each other. Your relationship doesn't give you energy. It sucks the energy and life right out of you.

You're staying together because of commitment and because of the children. You're not sure how much longer you can hold on. You've thought about divorce, even though you really don't want one.

You find yourself wondering about what it would be like to split up and be on your own. You begin to notice members of the opposite sex and find yourself attracted to them.

You don't realize it, but unless you are totally committed to following God's direction you are an affair waiting to happen. Your marriage isn't dead yet, but it is in intensive care on life support. There are no feelings of love left. I call this kind of relationship Dead Marriage Walking. You want out of your marriage. Or, your spouse wants out. Divorce has been mentioned, probably many times.

One spouse has filed for divorce or is on the verge of filing. One spouse may have uttered those five horrible words: For you, I would love to see you take advantage of the many support groups that are available for families dealing with alcoholism.

You are not alone! Love yourself enough to get the support you need to get through this with grace and dignity. Love your husband enough to let him know that his actions need to change, he may need to get some outside support as well, and you are strong enough to lead the way. I know this is hard, but Sue, you can do hard!! You are strong and powerful. Take care of yourself, so that you can take care of the many others in your life who need you.

I'm afraid that my marriage is headed towards divorce. My husband has refused to touch me in any way for almost a year now, and he talks on the phone constantly but refuses to do so when I'm in the room. He either hangs up right away, asks me to leave, or leaves himself.

I've asked him if he's having an affair and he says no. How can I find out if he's telling the truth? I'm confused and very, very angry. Do you know of any steps I can take to open up some communication, or find out what is going on and why he is acting this way?

I don't want a divorce but I can't keep living with someone who so blatantly distrusts and despises me. You are asking if you can find out the truth, but I believe you already know the answer to the affair question. But even if he is not, you have no doubts that you are not in a healthy marriage. You asked me how to communicate and get some answers, and I know this is true for so many women who wish they knew how to communicate better with their husbands.

My suggestions here may sound completely counterproductive, but I would challenge you to open your mind to a new way of thinking and approaching your marriage.

After all, what you've been trying so far hasn't worked, so why not try something new? Most of the time when a husband begins to treat his wife poorly there has been a breakdown somewhere in his respect towards you. I wouldn't waste a whole lot of time trying to figure out the what or when, but understand that that is probably the source. What needs to happen then is that you begin to rebuild some of that respect, and you do it by having respect for yourself first.

If you had respect for yourself, would you put up with his private conversations in a room that equally belongs to you? If you had respect for yourself, would you continue to put up with his unwillingness to love you and honor you as his wife? If you had respect for yourself, would you be a doormat who continues to cook his meals, try to be kind, and love him in spite of all of this? I would suggest that you calmly set a time for the two of you to talk.

Get it on his calendar if you have to! Then sit down and again calmly and maybe even a little coldly explain the situation as you see it. No tears, no drama, no pleading or begging allowed!! It may be one of the hardest things you've had to do, but you can do this! Let him know that the private conversations will stop now, and that you suspect him of having an affair. Be very clear that you won't put up with any of it any longer, and that you will settle for nothing less than a faithful, loving husband.

Tell him what the end result of his actions will lead to - him leaving with his clothes in garbage bags on the front lawn, divorce, custody issues, etc. He may be angry, but your job is to hold it together. If it gets too hard on you, get up and walk away. Again, guys don't deal well with drama, so just don't go there. After a year of distance, this may feel extreme, but unless you create a situation that brings things to a head, you will continue to stay here in the dark.

Claim your power to make a difference in your marriage, and take a stand - giving yourself all the love and respect YOU deserve!

We have been separated for about a month and a half. During this time I've missed him very much. Before our separation, we argued all the time about my family, friends, job, etc. I ended up leaving him because I felt he was too controlling, possessive and jealous. For instance, he would get upset if I looked at someone he felt was good looking whether in the car, watching television, etc. He always wanted to know where I was or who I was with, etc. When I confronted him about how I felt, we would argue and our arguments would go on for hours and hours.

He also doesn't like my family and says they tell me what to do all the time. We went to therapy and my therapist said my husband and I should split up.

I didn't take his advice because I didn't feel the same way he did. I know I'm not perfect and have my problems too. However, I left this time and said I want a divorce. However, after not being together for almost two months, I'm not sure he wants to be with me anymore. I called him for a couple of weeks and he just didn't answer my calls. So I left him a message that if he wants a divorce, I would agree to it and get the papers. I just asked him to give me a call to see how we could work out the divorce in a civil way in order to not hurt each other.

Unfortunately, he still didn't call me back. I still want to talk to him to try and get back together. Do you think he has moved on and I should just let him go, or should I try to contact him again? I feel like such a sap but I do love my husband.

It's a wonderful thing that you love your husband, but right now, you need to rediscover what it means to love yourself more! Because you are groveling, you're acting out of fear, you're doing things impulsively, you're changing your mind often, and you're calling it love. It sounds romantic, but when you're on the receiving end as your husband is, it's repulsive.

Here's what I would love for you to do. Just be for a while. There is no rush on filing the papers, and threatening that you will isn't helping. Focus in on your own personal growth and development. What is important to you?

What are your goals? How's the physical side of you doing? Check out some good books and actually read them!

My Spouse Wants a Divorce But I Don't

I don t want a divorce but he does Our relationship has always been a long distance one, with the goal of being together eventually. Have you thought to yourself, "I don't want a divorce but I don't know what to do"? I feel emotionally bankrupt and don't know how to move forward from here. The following advice can help you gain perspective in your situation, especially if you want to keep your marriage together. I've been married for about a year and a half. Are you struggling with all the mixed emotions you're feeling about your husband and your marriage? He's told me he wants to end our marriage about 10 times, but then decides he doesn't want a divorce and apologizes and professes his love. I Don’t Want to Get Divorced but My Spouse Does!